I was deeply moved by a gesture from my son the other day. One that also demonstrates true healing has taken place – a very significant awakening of reasoning and deliverance from fear.
To a mother of a healthy child, this would have little to no meaning, but to me even as I type this, I am once again moved to tears and can feel its touch on my heart.
I ate something that I was allergic too – I’m thinking it was seaweed wrap – and HUGE hives broke out on my legs. Super puffy/swollen, burning hot, with intense almost unbearable itching. I was in agony.
And recently, he developed an allergy in one eye – another matter of prayer. But in the meantime, with the help a natural allergy medication, he got complete relief, so I ordered a few bottles of it online.
Well I wanted to try them too
Several times in the past over the years, I had really needed something that I ran out of or whatever and would ask him if I could have one of his. Not only was it a very firm “NO!” but just by my asking, it would cause him to get severely agitated, and he would be angry and offended that I would even ask him for one of his things and would start making whining, agitated, groaning (very unpleasant) sounds – including with my promise to replace it the next day.
Why? Because of the horrible and tormenting root of fear that autism spectrum disorder would cause for him regarding almost everything.
The key lying fear in those instances: fear of LACK. Like somehow, some way, I wouldn’t really be able to replace what I had used of his, and the fear caused him to say no (and get really agitated and angry that I would even have the audacity to ask him for something I needed too).
This time, when I asked him for a few tablets of his allergy medicine, he returned with an entire bottle and calmly said as if it were nothing, “Here Mama, you can keep it, but please order some more, okay?”
WAAAAAAAHHHHHH! More happy tears of joy!
I told him thank you, and on his own, he said, “You know I wouldn’t have been able to do that before. Give you my stuff like that without freaking out.”
I said, “I know honey, and it shows me how much you love me and care for me too.” Something I also longed to experience that had been missing for so long from our relationship – his ability to reciprocate love, kindness, and compassion. Thank You, Lord Jesus!
I’m also so thankful that he recognizes his own healing taking place before his eyes as well. God is so good! His Word is so true!